Who stole the sunshine?

I hate Oregon. What more can I say? Boo, Oregon. Boo.

Another Rollerblader bites the dust

Remember elementary school? Yeah, it was quite some time ago. So young and innocent.

Lately I’ve been jamming out to some classic 70s tunes. It all started with Queen. I was in the mood for some Queen. So, with the help of Pandora, I’ve slipped into a world of guitar melodies and male vocals. Today a song which reminds me of elementary school popped on my Queen radio station: “Another One Bites the Dust.”

Back in the days when Rollerblades were the “it” thing (the 90s, kids — ah the 90s), me and my elementary compadres would meet at a rollerskating rink for some novice flirting and rollerblading fun. Round and round we’d go as music from different genres blared from the speakers overhead. Every week, without fail, the rink DJ would spin “Another One Bites the Dust.”

This song always accompanied a contest of some type — speed skating, musical chairs or some other competition which weeded out the losers from the Rollerblading stallions.

Ah, the memories. If only life was still that simple.

Are you shitting me?

Why did they re-make Death at a Funeral (starring Martin Lawrence, Chris Rock and Tracy Morgan)? How are they planning to spin the comedy? The original version of the flick is already great.

If any of you have not seen the original, a British film released in 2007 and directed by Frank Oz, YOU SHOULD! Fucking hilarious.

All I have to say about the remake is: Are you shitting me? Next thing you know there will be a Americanized version of The IT Crowd.

Half of a green fish

Another rainy evening. After a somewhat sunny afternoon, I don’t mind the drizzle. I kind of like the dreary because it fits my mood. Sick of all the bullshit, I’ve decided to shut out the garbage.

So here I am with a huge pumpkin beer and a flick about people with special gifts. I also picked up some Swedish Fish. Tasty, gummy treats which my dentist must abhor. Oh well.

I picked my fish from a see-through bin (*bah! sea-through!*). A plastic shovel attached to the bin helped me weasel around the yellow fish and scoop out as many green fish as possible. But there was one green fish which I avoided.

Amidst the rainbow of gummy fishies was half of a green fish. Yes, just the tail. The head was bitten off — there were distinct teeth marks. Maybe some of the other fish are cannibals. Maybe a rabid child mangled the sweet flesh. I don’t really know, but it didn’t stop me from using my square plastic shovel like a reel. I just made sure to steer clear of the green halfsie.

Yes, I may still lose my head even if I seal myself off from the other bins out there. Poor green fish never saw it coming. It’s easy to close the door, but there is still someone out there waiting to bite your head off.