Like a true twentysomething bum

I slept on the floor last night. A wood floor.

Ow.

Every bone and muscle aches. You know that feeling you get after a boxing match? No? Me neither. But I imagine that your bones might ache like this. Sore I can handle; exhausted muscles that can’t find the strength to function. This is different. I don’t hurt because of rigorous exercise. I hurt because I was stupid enough to believe that a camping mat was comfortable enough for one night.

Live and learn, I guess. I feel more like a true twentysomething every day. Sleeping on the floor, simultaneously “living” in two locations (neither of which actually feels like a home) and using coffee for motivation.

Bleh. This stage needs to end. I want to sleep in a bed for more than four hours and have all of my personal belongings in one location. Grumble, grumble. Pass me another coffee…with an extra side of coffee.

Scrubs and Coffee

About 1.5yrs ago, I forced myself to give up coffee. Though I thoroughly enjoyed my daily cup of addiction, it was getting to the point where I could drink a cup before bed and still fall asleep. Bad news, bears. Come to think of it, the blessed bean also made my face red and stained my teeth.

So, I cut it out. No more yummy latte rushes. No more daily mugs of liquid energy and post-coffee crashes.

However, life happens and so I am starting to find comfort in the bittersweet java nectar again. This turn of events reminded me of a clip from Scrubs. All I can say is, I am determined to prevent my habit from causing me to purchase an espresso machine that costs more than my car. I am also gunna steer clear of the Smochaccinos.

Absolutely Defining Sense of Self?

“The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don’t know what the hell they’re doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.” [Tom Hanks as Joe Fox, You've Got Mail]

 

What is it about Starbucks during the day? I am not talking about a Starbucks near office complexes or adjacent to a college campus. I mean the neighborhood shop, the Starbucks near the homes and grocery stores. In the span of ten minutes, I can see my entire future flash before my eyes. There I am now, talking on my cell phone about school or a raging party. My beverage of choice is a sugar-filled latte followed by a disgustingly, over-processed muffin.

 Next, please!

 There I am again, a beautiful young mom who stays at home with her toddler and newborn. Maneuvering around the small cafe with little Timmy on my hip and baby Lilly resting peacefully in her stroller. Oh, look! Grandma and Grandpa are here to join us.

 Next, please!

 Wow, the years are clearly taking their toll. I need a break from the office, so I am stopping by Starbucks. Dressed like a true professional, my eyes are drooping as I order my Venti non-fat, no foam, sugar-free vanilla latte. Apparently, little Timmy is starting to bombard me with teenage angst. Man, how and the hell do I manage to remain sane as a working mom?

 Next, please!

 Retired, at last! My friends and I are meeting for our weekly gab-fest. We are discussing the scintillating book that just came out. One of my friends is a new Grandma. Congratulations.

 Next, please!

 Wow, welcome to Starbucks. Maybe next time I will just order my latte and walk out the door. Come to think of it, maybe my life would be less like a mold if I just did not go to Starbucks. I don’t need to make this many decisions during one outing. Sure, I would like a small cup of “absolutely defining sense of self” but not nearly so much.