No Gas Fights Allowed!

It takes some time to get to know the norms of a new location. For instance, here is Oregon, gas stations are not self-service. You pull up to the pump, shut-off your engine, pop open your gas cover and than sit on your ass while a gas station attendant refuels your car for you. That is right. It is actually illegal for me to refuel my own car.

The first time I encountered this unusual standard, I was annoyed. Come on! I am perfectly capable of refueling my own car. I have been doing it for years. Even when I was young my parents charged me with the task.

Apparently, only Oregon and New Jersey abide by this ridiculous statute. There are a number of reasons that these two states site to validate the statute’s necessity. One reason addresses gasoline’s inflammability. (Yes, inflammable is correct; just ask Strunk and White. Although, don’t ask them about the many other glarring errors in my posts; every post would be covered in bright red proof marks.) Yes, gas station fires happen. I’ve seen it… in Zoolander!

It is only natural that my mind should jump right to the orange frapuccino and gas fight scene from the movie Zoolander. Maybe Oregon is home to a large number of fictional, idiot models whose parents never taught them not to mix orange fraps, gas fights and open flames.

Wake me up, before you go go.
Don’t leave me hanging on like a yo-yo.

Wham! I just got smacked with another scene! Family Guy: Jungle Love. In this episode, the audiance lands smack-dab in the middle of a random musical interlude—Jitterbug [see Musical Moment #7].

Ah, the wonder of my train of thought. Maybe it is good that Oregon does not let me pump my own gas. You can never guarantee that my mind-wandering won’t interfere with my ability to pump gas without starting a fire.

Super Cool High School

For whatever reason, I have been quoting Stewie lately (from Family Guy). When I find myself making a big deal about nothing, I quote Stewie: “I wear short sleeved shirts, under long sleeved shirts, under short sleeved shirts.”

I really don’t have much of a post for it. So, this is a short one.

Here is a clip from the episode when Stewie bets Brian that he can walk into the local high school and become instantly popular. Like all Family Guy episodes, the story ends up taking a turn for the worse. Yet, before that moment, Stewie perfectly sums up the over dramatized teenage stage of life.

Heads Up: Like many episodes, this clip is definitely PG-13.
Short sleeves shirts, under long sleeve shirts, under short sleeve shirts - Family Guy, Stewie in HS

Ha ha ha. I totally used to wear long sleeved shirts under short sleeved shirts. I also would wear short sleeved shirts under long sleeved shirts. What can I say, I was suuuuper cool.

Star Wars Newbie

I have a secret. A secret that some would use to shun me from the world of Sci-Fi for the rest of eternity. Do I dare to reveal it to you, my brave reader? Can you handle it?

I have only just seen the original Star Wars Trilogy. No, that is not the worst part. Before I ever saw the original Star Wars, in their entirety, I sat through the prequels at the theater. Gasp… I am on the Dark Side!

The prequels left much to be desired. Simply put, the prequels were the most appalling movies that I have ever voluntarily paid to see. The dialogue was disgusting and the majority of the characters were forgetable. Not to even mention the overuse of CGI technology.

Now, I have passed into the Good Side. Like many before me, I have been witness to the original space created for the silver screen. A space that used little more than scale models and minimal effects to depict lightspeed, battles, and crazy plots. Let me tell you, it was worlds better than what I expected.

Though I knew what to expect, I am glad that I have finally seen the complete story. After years of watching spoofs, I now have seen the original. Yet, I can’t deny that the spoofs still crack me up. What can I say, I am partial to giggling.

Darth Doody – Family Guy: Blue Harvest
Strawberry! I HATE strawberry! – Spaceballs
We aint found shit! – Spaceballs

Fall Weather

Fall is in the air. Yes, fall has a distinct smell: fireplaces, crispness, and earth. It all really makes me want to put on fuzzy sweaters and drink cocoa. Fantastically cliche, I know, but today I did just that. After my morning routine, I slipped myself into a nice pair of lounge pants and a hoodie and enjoyed the warmth of a hot cocoa with Baileys.

Mind you the weather where I am is practically tropical compared to some places. However, as much as I like colder weather, I have learned to pretend that 60 degree ocean air classifies as “cold.” Though my morning brush with fall was refreshing, the evening outings make me really appreciate the end of summer and the beginning of my favorite time of year.

On this particular evening, I got to thinking about an episode of Family Guy. In this episode, the first leaf is falling. While many people assocaite this event with positive feelings, the Quahog crew dread the day that fall begins. Why, you may ask? Why would anyone dread the beauty of changing leaves?

Leafers.

Leafers are the out-of-towners who venture into the scenic, environmentally bountiful towns purely to capture the light and color of the changing leaves. Egads. So, in honor of the changing leaves I am toasting my next hot cocoa and Baileys to those who are forced to deal with the Leafers.