Hair in my food

The morning started, well, slowly. Slept past the ping of my alarm and avoided the world for an extra hour. Good, right? I thought so.

When I rolled out of bed, things were still okay. But when I started to make breakfast, the general good-morning feeling changed. The coffee brewed and the eggs cooked. All the while, I longed to curl back in bed.

With my mug of coffee in one hand and my eggs with salsa in the other, I shuffled back to my desk chair and checked my email. Damn. I wish I hadn’t checked my email. I hate those emails. The emails that change your plans. Those emails that either sit in the Inbox with bad tidings, or those emails that aren’t there yet.

Okay, I can deal with the emails. Not a big problem. But then, as I shovel a fork full of eggs towards my mouth, I noticed a hair in my food.

Eh…a hair, probably my own, cooked into my food. Yes, the long string of peanut-butter brown hair woven into a chain of scrambled eggs. Gross. I think I am going to crawl back under my covers and pretend that the egg-hair never happened.

Elf Cookies Take a Turn for the Worse

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!!

I love reading the Onion. Stories that blatantly poke fun at the ridiculous streaks present in real scenarios.

This particular bit of fun relates to the stream of food product re-calls that litter the news every year. It seems that a Keebler Elf is short one finger. Here is a short piece of the crazy write-up:

“We estimate that fantasy-creature body fragments in foods such as cookies, crackers, and cereal account for no more than two parts per million,” Blosser said. “This is lower than the maximum allowed amount for insect parts and mouse hairs in equivalent products.”

Essence of Bacon

My boyfriend and I love food. Yummy. In our apartment, we definitely use the kitchen. Over the past few days we have cooked up muffins, pork ribs, and breakfast burritos. All delightful.

Some people have unique secrets when it comes to breakfast burritos. However, when creating a killer breakfast burrito it is important to include a few key ingredients:

• Boiled Potatoes
  Nothing screams over indulgent breakfast food like carby, starchy potatoes.
• Scrambled Eggs
  Let’s face it, breakfast is not breakfast without the incredible edible egg.
• Cheese, Cheese, CHeeeeeese
  Enough said.
• Green Chile
  NEVER skip this step, even if the stuff in the can is not as good as New Mexican chilies.
• Bacon
  Yes, Teresa will know if there is no bacon.

Crispy bacon. Now, aside from the wealth of fat, cooking bacon has a pitfall. The smell. Even a few days post bacon cooking, our apartment still smells like bacon. Not like fresh-cooked bacon, but the air has a lingering essence of bacon. Ooo la la.

Though the scent is not going to hit the shelves as a new cologne anytime soon, the smell is not bad. Well, while lounging in a lunch-food coma, my boyfriend and I overheard a neighbor of ours in the hall comment on the smell emanating from our apartment. Little Jimmy stopped in front of our closed door to comment. The wee tyke was quick. He efficaciously deduced that the smell coming from our apartment was bacon… or so he said to his Nanny.

HA HA HA HA! Apparently our apartment is known for its food smells. Aces.

Well, this brush with eaves dropping reminded me an episode of Friends. This is the one about a beautiful girl with not so beautiful organizational habits.

Friends -The One With The Dirty Girl (1)
Hit 6.25-7.20
Friends – The One With The Dirty Girl (2)
Hit 5.25-7.09

Our apartment may smell like bacon but at least it is clean. Her apartment is just plain disgusting. “Oh thank god, it’s not Mitzy…. it’s just a rat.” I think I would have a heart attack… and not because of my bacon grease clogged arteries. =P